Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Aba

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

My maternal Grandfather – whom I call Aba – expired on Friday, 23rd. October,2009. He was 88. I was informed by my father in the morning. I was just into office and was settling at my seat, when Father’s call came. I was suspicious. Aba was unwell for last couple of weeks. Especially his last week was very bad. Doctor had already told us that it was just a matter of time. Two days before this, mother had told me how he was becoming weaker by the day. I was in hope that I would be able to see him, when I go to India next month. But, it wasn’t to be. I felt heavy when I heard the news. I didn’t feel like bursting into a cry, but yeah, my eyes became moist. I remembered every moment I had spent with him. I was just lost in thoughts for some time. I didn’t cry because, I knew the news would come some day sooner or later. Actually, he was relieved of all his pains, that he suffered in some of his last days. And sometimes, biggest of sorrows generate least of tears. Moreover, as they poetically say, he was now devoid of all the sorrows of material world.

My paternal grandparents expired when I was about 12-13 years old and so did my maternal grandmother. I had seen only the loving and caring grandparents in them as that was the only facet that I could experience till that age. But Aba’s was a different case. As I was growing up and understanding more, I could understand him more as a human being. He was a very loving grandfather indeed. I still remember I must’ve been about 8-9 years old, when I was walking with him on road of Pune. My mother and father were ahead and I was with Aba, when suddenly I saw a green plastic toy guitar in one of the toy shops by the road and I felt like I wanted it. I usually wasn’t that of a demanding boy (since mother would simply beat me up if I would be that), but that moment I don’t know, maybe because I trusted my loving grandfather- I wasn’t ready to give up. He tried to dissuade me at first, but I was stubborn, I refused to move from my position. I just stayed there, right in front of the toy shop. All that he had to do was call my mother, it would’ve taken only one glare to get me out of there, but instead he gave up and walked me inside. I don’t remember the price, since I wasn’t interested, but I know it must’ve been expensive. When we reached home, mother was very annoyed at me, but Aba was so satisfied with my glowing face. I never felt anything about that incident, but when I grew up I understood the deep love of my grandfather in it. I strangely remember this incident very vividly, not many of that age though.

Further to being this loving grandfather, I knew him as a strong-willed and hard-working person. He started his own business after the age of 50. That fact is enough to know about the man’s will power and readiness to work hard. He worked till almost age of 82-83. He was visiting his workshop till almost two years back. He wasn’t engineer by education, but by experience. He had seen days of poverty. My mother still tells me stories of their meagre expenditures. Today, my Maternal uncle is retired from a big MNC on big post. My mother is a professor in a reputed college and my maternal aunt is well settled in her own. And Aba, who worked as a meagre technician for different companies, owns a big property in Pune, all on his own. He aptly named his residence in Pune as “Jidda” (Determination). He was indeed a very determined man. He never wanted to be dependent. Not even on his own children. After my grandmother’s death, he chose to live alone with a housekeeper. He lived in his own house till death. Never depended on anyone. When during his last few days, he started needing help to get up from bed, I guess he himself must’ve decided to stop. I heard his stories from my mother a lot of times, but I saw him do the work and deal with people also. He wasn’t a particularly sweet talking person, instead he was anything but that. But still, he made that up with his sincerity and hard work. My mother always says, if I take even 5% of his good virtues, I would go long way ahead in life. And I know how true it is for not only me, but for everyone.

I am not saying all this because he was my grandfather, but because, I knew him well. He used to play chess with me when I was in junior college. But, as I grew up, I had other important things to do. He understood it. He never tried to teach me anything, but instead I learnt from his actions. His cleanliness, his tidiness. The way he always dressed well and kept himself neat and tidy. The way he kept his things organized. I am so different than him in these things (mom says I took my habits from father). Anyone who knew him personally would tell you this. 

He wasn’t perfect. He was human. He had his share of enemies. He was a very straightforward person. If you are in his good books, he would do anything for you. But, you do something that he disapproves, you are his enemy forever. He was very eccentric in this respect. But, he wasn’t a person who would go to any level in enmity. He did everything royally. 

I am writing this after 5 days after he left. But, I just couldn’t gather words before. He deserved a lot than this meagre blogpost of mine. He was an institution. I didn’t call him for last month or so, the only solace for me is just about a month and half ago, he was at my Mumbai home for few days and I had seen and chatted with him on Video Chat. That was my last conversation with him. Everytime when I flew to India for vacations, I would visit him at least once. I would touch his feet on reaching there and leaving from there and everytime when I left he would hug me with moist eyes. Everytime, I felt he did that as if it would be last time. I can still remember his weak but firm embrace. Moist and proud eyes. I still feel if I could just touch his feet again, one last time.